RWBY: We're Not Fine
by cabbitguy
Summary: After the fall of Beacon, Volume 3, Chapter 12 "The End of the Beginning," Ruby breaks house rest to look for Jaune.


RWBY: We're Not Fine  
By Cabbitguy 

Nervous. Anxious. Scared.

This crazy mix of emotions wrapped Ruby's tiny frame in worry as she thought about what to say to her friend Jaune, the captain of team JNPR. Ren and Nora, the other members of team JNPR, voiced their concerns to her on how quiet Jaune had become since…Beacon fell and the city evacuated. He responded only when spoken to and even then, in as few words as possible. He remained quiet about what happened that day...and no one, understandably so, could summon the courage to ask him about it.

When Ruby heard about Jaune's growing introversion, even from his teammates, she gladly caved to the overwhelming urge to see him despite orders to rest. Donning her signature red hood, she dressed herself and made her way to the evacuation site where many of Beacon's students temporarily resided.

It didn't take her long to find Jaune after meeting with Ren and Nora. Ruby found the aspiring Hunter standing alone on a hillside, looking out into the distance where the hazy silhouette of the ruined Beacon Tower scarred the skyline.

"I'm...really happy to see you're okay." she said.

Jaune didn't even look back. He knew her voice well. "Ruby...I'm glad you're okay too."

Ruby slowly approached from behind. Even though a captain herself, she wasn't really sure what to say or do, especially to someone two years older than her. So, she asked the obvious question. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Jaune answered flatly, as if he'd given the same answer one time past annoyed. "How about you?"

"Um...I'm fine...thanks for asking…" she responded cheerfully.

"...You're welcome."

She inched closer. "If...you want to talk about it...what happened...I…I'm here…"

"Thanks Ruby…" he lowered his head. He sighed. "I'm...fine…"

Ruby paused, rocking back and forth. She called his bluff. "You're not…'fine'...are you?" she said half-stating, half-asking.

Jaune almost smiled at her naive persistence. "No." he replied truthfully. "I lost a teammate Ruby...and a great...a priceless, friend…"

"I...almost lost Yang…" Ruby said. "Soooo...I...almost understand?" she said meekly.

Jaune almost smiled, knowing she meant well. "I'm glad Yang's alive too."

Ruby could hear his sincerity. "Yeah, me too..." She took a few steps and ended up beside Jaune. Looking out, the silence between them seemed to weigh a ton on her small shoulders. She wanted to help, knowing Jaune must be in pain after what happened in Beacon. So, she looked up at him patiently.

Then it snowballed. Everything pent up inside Jaune exploded.

"I wasn't strong enough!" he shouted. "Good enough! She couldn't rely on me to stand by her and fight! That's why she put me in that stupid thing and sent me away! I was too weak!" Jaune clenched his fists at this reality. "I didn't belong at Beacon to begin with...it wasn't a dream! It was a lie...a stupid, selfish lie…" Jaune shut his eyes tight, fighting back the tears. "...and it got her killed…"

"That's not true Jaune…"

"You said it yourself Ruby," Jaune countered, irritation in his tone. "You said I wasn't allowed to be a failure...because being so would affect my team…you were so right..."

Ruby remembered her words nearly two ago to Jaune. In a rough place at the time, Jaune confessed to Ruby he thought of himself as a failure. Ruby bluntly told him he "wasn't allowed to be a failure...because he was a leader now." She meant it as encouragement then, but now, the words cut him like daggers.

"Pyrrha…" Jaune stammered. "She was always there for me...looking after me...and I screwed up! It's my fault...I'm weak...I'm pathetic...and…she's dead because of me!"

"Stop it..." Ruby whispered.

"Stop what?" Jaune closed his eyes. "Stop seeing the truth? Stop saying the obvious? Stop saying what's in everyone's mind when they see me?" he stared right into Ruby's eyes. "Pyrrha...is dead because of me!"

"It's not your fault…" she could feel the tears forming.

"It is Ruby...it is!"

"Do you think Pyrrha would want you to blame yourself? 'You're weak'...do you really think that's how she saw you?"

Jaune looked away.

"You know the truth...we all did! We saw how much she cared about you Jaune!" Ruby remembered the signs...Pyrrha's smile when she looked at Jaune. Her slight, excited tone when talking to him. Her sideways glances at Jaune when she thought no one would notice. How she glowed whenever around Jaune…

"She loved you Jaune."

"Don't...Ruby…" Jaune choked. They were words Jaune knew, but didn't want to hear. He cursed himself for being weak. He cursed himself for never realizing until it was too late that an amazing woman already loved him while he futilely pined over a girl who wouldn't give him the time day.

Ruby continued, emotions overwhelming, her volume rising steadily. "She loved you. Valued your life, your life you think is nothing! She didn't throw her life away! She fought! Fought to save you, me...everyone at Beacon…but she loved you! And I know she would gladly do it again knowing you'd live! She wouldn't want you to spend your life blaming yourself for her death...she'd want you to live Jaune!"

Jaune put his hands to he forehead, the truth of Ruby's words weighing on him.

"So stop it!" Ruby screeched. "Stop blaming yourself! Stop saying you were too weak to save her! Stop saying she died because of you! Stop carrying all the guilt on yourself…" Ruby's voice faded into a near whisper as she sank to her knees and her tears started.

"...and let me carry my part…" her voice trailed into bitter sobbing.

Ruby's last words echoed in Jaune's mind. Weiss told JNPR how she glyphed the side of the Beacon Tower so Ruby could help Pyrrha stop Cinder. Weiss said moments after Ruby reached the top, she heard Ruby scream, a deafening cry echoing in the night, coinciding with an eruption of light from the summit of the tower. She said the sky turned white, nearly blinding her.

...and it hit him...

Jaune's last moments with Pyrrha were bittersweet. As he staunchly objected to her one woman crusade against Cinder, Pyrrha silenced him with a kiss on the lips. It wasn't some regular kiss...somehow, maybe their auras mixed at that moment, who knows, but somehow, he felt everything he admired about her in that kiss. Her warmth, kindness, strength...courage. It starkly reminded him how much she was the kind of warrior he hoped to one day become...but there was more to it.

The kiss spoke every word, every feeling Pyrrha held for Jaune and he realized what she had been saying to him without words for almost two years. As she closed the door to the deployment locker with him inside, he caught a glimpse of her smile. He saw the sparkle...the glow...in her green eyes as she gave him a last look. No, he'd always seen it when she spoke with him...only now did he notice. His last image of her was a strong, brave warrior who loved him.

And the locker launched, separating them forever.

But in Ruby's last moment with Pyrrha…

...Ruby _watched Pyrrha die_ …

As Ruby cried, the horrific memory vividly replayed in her mind. Every sound, smell, the feeling of the wind on her skin...it engulfed her as if she were reliving it. Helpless, powerless, she watched as Cinder fired an arrow through her friend. She saw Pyrrha on her knees, convulsing, gasping as the burning arrow penetrated through her chest and spine. She saw Pyrrha choke on her last breath, her aura abandon a lifeless husk as it dissolved into fiery ash, not even leaving a body behind to mourn or bury.

"What if I had been there sooner?"

"Why didn't I do something?"

"Could I have made a difference…?"

"Could I have saved Pyrrha?"

Jaune realized these questions must be burning in Ruby's mind just as much as in his own. And the one question, the one question both would ask for the rest of their life…

"Did Pyrrha die because of me?"

As Ruby sobbed uncontrollably, Jaune knelt in front of her and reached out to his first friend at Beacon, pulled her close and embraced her. Jaune knew they were the only two who could understand how the other felt. They were both in pain, and it wouldn't be going away anytime soon, if ever. For Ruby, Jaune's closeness somehow made the guilt, less painful. Listening to his friend sob softly, he pulled a little closer and the burden he had been carrying seemed a little lighter. He did it for Ruby as much as for himself and for the first time since Pyrrha died…

...he let himself cry.


End file.
